The Fallen Ones (2005) Review

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(More customer reviews)For a channel that continually gives us such tripe as "Mosquito" and "Bugs", "The Fallen Ones" is far from the worst that the SciFi channel has to offer. But as with most of their offerings, "The Fallen Ones" is devoid of a comprehensible script, Robert Wagner is horrible, and every few minutes you end up asking yourself, "What's going on here? I'm confused."
But that's Ok, because the film is marginally saved by Tom Bosley, I gotta tell ya, you can put Mr Cunningham in any kind of movie, doing any kind of role and I'm going to be entertained.
And you have to mention Caspar Van Diehm...we are living in blessed times to have this generation's John Agar meandering his way through B-movie after B-movie, he is so bad in an "Ed Wood" kind of way, that he almost makes you believe he's a credible actor.
I liked the super-sized mummy, that was good imagination, unfortunately, most of the rest of the movie was lacking.

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Black Magic Rites (1973) Review

Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)(AKA 'The Reincarnation Of Isabel' 1973)- Before we go any further, if you're going to watch this flick, please do so in Italian with subtitles, as the English dubbed version is unwatchable. Not that anything will elevate this perverse gem of a sexually-overheated occult oddity to the status of a 'good' film, but those of us who revel in such insanity will be able to enjoy properly, as director Renato Polselli ('Delerium') intended.
This one starts with a woman being burned alive at the stake for being a witch to the bass line and percussion of Santana's 'Soul Sacrifice' while some psychedelic credits roll over Mario Bava-esque colors shining on the faces of the attendant villagers, so we know what kind of a schlocky treat we're in store for from the get-go.
Five centuries later, we're witness to a black magic ceremony involving a naked woman chained to an altar while some dudes in red leotards and black capes invoke Satan to reincarnate the soul of Isabel (the burnt witch) who gets a chance to be reborn every night of the 25th moon. You see, Count Dracula was the lover of Isabel the witch, who petitioned the powers of Darkness to become the first vampire, and presides over the reincarnation rituals.
That's the extent of the ridiculous plot; the rest of the flick is all about naked women. Euro babes, to be exact, and we see them being tied up, burnt alive, fondled, scantily clad, buried alive, tortured, in cages, beaten with tree limbs, losing their virginity, getting felt up by vampires, sacrificed, groped by their doctors, pursued by priests and superstitious villagers, in lesbian trysts and all the hysteria and melodrama we've come to expect from these Italian psych-horror sleaze fests. REJOICE or RUN AWAY! (2 stars for the flick, 4 stars for the rest...).


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