Showing posts with label bad acting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad acting. Show all posts

Naked Horror With Bonus Feature Attack Of The 40 Ft Tall Incredibly Shrinking Women (1995) Review

Naked Horror With Bonus Feature Attack Of The 40 Ft Tall Incredibly Shrinking Women (1995)
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If you like your movies to look like a bad VHS transfer and shot with a handy cam then this home movie is for you. The only horror in this film is that it was put onto DVD and being sold to the public instead of being passed around free to the friends of the people that created this mess.
This isn't a review but a warning for unsuspecting people to not waste their money or shelf space.

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DARKER SECRETS - SIDELINE SECRETS 2: DC (DVD MOVIE) Review

DARKER SECRETS - SIDELINE SECRETS 2: DC (DVD MOVIE)
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this is a sequel! if you remember, the lead in this movie was a non speaking role in the 1st. he was in the dream sequence in the park!
now, in this role he is a police officer! wow!
the acting is better than in the first, believe it or not!
still not that great!


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The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1999) Review

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1999)
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I love this movie for how simple, entertaining and close to the original story it is. I am a 6th grade teacher, and for the past two years my class has read the story and watched this movie version. Last year, my kids said that it was much better than the gory Tim Burton one. I am so excited to be able to buy a copy since my taped-from-TV copy is getting worn from use!

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Item Name: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow; Studio:Lions Gate

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The Hitmen Diaries: Charlie Valentine (2009) Review

The Hitmen Diaries: Charlie Valentine (2009)
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Let me start by pointing out that most of the five-star reviews for this film are by people who suspiciously have reviewed only one movie on Amazon: this one. So possibly fake reviews aside, Charlie Valentine is a fairly average low-budget crime movie.
Pros: Raymond J. Barry delivers a great acting performance as Charlie Valentine, an aging gangster that's forced to flee town after a heist goes bad. Lisa Catara is painfully sexy as Valentine's love interest, though I was disappointed she wasn't used more in the film. There's also a great deal of eye candy thanks to a number of strip club scenes (a requirement for straight to DVD movies these days). The score for the film was surprisingly good, and the cinematography was better than most Redbox flicks.
Cons: For all of the big names that appear in this film, the overwhelming majority are underused. Tom Berenger is front and center on the DVD, despite getting a grand total of two minutes of screen time the entire movie. Keith David has a "blink and you missed him" role as well. James Russo of Donnie Brasco fame serves up a flat performance as the mob boss on the hunt for Valentine. Steven Bauer, who has packed on a good 80 pounds since filming Traffic, delivers a forgettable "where's my check" acting performance.
The trailers make the film seem so much better than it really is, and even the Amazon description of the film isn't very accurate. And for supposedly being an experienced gunslinger, Valentine constantly has his guard down around his enemies.
Charlie Valentine is worth renting just for Raymond Barry's performance alone. Otherwise, it's a run of the mill low-budget gangster flick filled with plenty of plot holes, and it doesn't really stand out. Give this one a rent before buying.

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Skyline (2011) Review

Skyline (2011)
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The Review:
Skyline is the new alien invasion disaster movie and it's been dinged pretty hard by some mainstream reviewers. I saw it opening day and I think that it's actually one of the better alien invasion movies, emphasis on the word alien. It's Independence Day done right.
Skyline is set in modern day LA and chronicles 3 days in the life of a small group trying to survive a close encounter of the worst kind. Overnight a massive alien invasion force appears in the skies over LA and begin abducting Los Angelinos by the millions. What's impressive about this movie beyond stellar special effects is that the aliens are actually alien as opposed to typical Hollywood aliens. You see, aliens are seldom very alien in pop culture. Think about it. Vulcans, Klingons, Kryptonians look a lot like us. Ten fingers, ten toes, one mouth. That's awfully unlikely, right? The best alien movies like Alien, The Thing, have the most memorable, truly alien life forms. Skyline's aliens fall into that category. They are relentless, powerful and genocidal. And there is NO explanation of what they are, where they come from and why they are making mincemeat of humanity. This, I think, is where the film takes its biggest risk that I feel paid off but likely alienated some audiences (pun intended).
But consider how ridiculous it would be to have an alien species explain its motivations to you in some contrived monologue or have some scientist decipher their intentions in a matter of hours or days. Or even how we'd have any basis by which to surmise their motivations, language or technology. Consider whether other species even have motivations.
SPOILER ALERT: The film also eschews the Hollywood ending somewhat because there isn't any deus ex machina to save the day. Aliens capable of interstellar travel can almost certainly kick humanity's butt. No contest. There's no McGuffin a la Independence Day that let's us pull a Hail Mary at the end to save the day. The movie ends abruptly and sets itself up for a sequel. END SPOILER.
Aside from the abrubt ending, Skyline gets it right. The aliens are frightening, the story well told and the parts well played. If you like everything explained to you though, then this movie might be a little jarring, but keep in mind truly alien antogonists are unlikely to tell you their motivations or have easily exploitable weaknesses.
FTC Advisory: We purchased our own tickets.

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It was supposed to be a simple birthday weekend in Southern California. But when sunrise arrives two hours early in the form of a haunting light from an unknown source, a group of friends watch in terror as people across the city are drawn outside and swept into massive alien ships that have blotted out the L.A. skyline. From tankers to drones and hydra-like extraterrestrials, the aliens are inescapable and seemingly indestructible. Now, it will take every survival instinct the group has to elude capture in this riveting, action-packed sci-fi adventure starring Eric Balfour (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), Donald Faison ("Scrubs") and Scottie Thompson (Star Trek).


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