Showing posts with label 10. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 10. Show all posts

Jungle Girls Pack (Golden Temple Amazons / Amazonia / Diamonds of Kilimandjaro) Review

Jungle Girls Pack (Golden Temple Amazons / Amazonia / Diamonds of Kilimandjaro)
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With Shriek Show, connoisoeurs of eurotrash know its best to wait, because quite frankly, few of the titles in their catalogue are worth the single-disc asking price! BUT, as with their Post Apocalyptic Action Triple Feature Pack, their Psycho Killers Triple Feature Pack, their Jungle Horror Triple Feature Pack, their Martial Arts Triple Feature Pack and their Evil Animals Triple Feature Pack, their Zombie Triple Feature Pack, their Wicked Women Triple Feature Pack, and their Demons Triple Feature Pack, this newest edition, the JUNGLE GIRLS TRIPLE FEATURE PACK provides a cheap fix for those who absolutely must see some of the worst euro-junk from the 80's. And at about $6 a disc, these pieces of crap are finally WORTH the money, though you'll pay far less in certain retail chain stores. I found it for $12.99, which further justified a peek.
Up first is GOLDEN TEMPLE AMAZONS, a deathly dull Jess Franco piece filled to the brim with topless women who remain topless throughout to distract you from the utter bankruptcy of ingenuity and awfulness of the story, about a young topless jungle girl, raised by a black tribe, who grows up to take revenge on the nearby tribe of topless evil amazons who killed her parents when she was young. Coming as is did at a time when Franco movies had long since stopped being even remotely interesting (and trust me, most of this man's work isn't even remotely interesting, save for perhaps WANDA THE WICKED WARDEN), the whole thing feels like one lazy grab for what few dollars remained in the exploitation market at the time before being dumped internationally on video under any number of the usual retitlings. In fact, much of the film was directed by a Eurocine journeyman and it was largely edited by company men as well. Eva Leon proves she's still got it, at least from the neck down, as the leader of the Golden Temple Amazons, her wardobe consisting of an eyepatch, a vest and a teensy tiny g-string as she whips her minions and our heroine with gusto. The golden temple "set," such as it is (and probably the centrepiece of most of the scenes actually shot by Franco), is really just a cave with foreground miniatures of "golden" pillars and friggin' BIRDCAGE bars feebly tyring to telegraph some kind of scale. Oh, screw it, let's move on to...
AMAZONIA: THE CATHERINE MILLS STORY (aka Schiave Bianche: Violenza in Amazzonia). Probably the best of the bad bunch in this set, if only for the participation of famed mondo pioneer Franco Prosperi (Mondo Cane, Uncle Tom's Cabin, Africa Addios) who seems to have had an influence on director Mario Garrizzo, who directs this largely in the pseudo-documentary style of Prosperi and Jacopetti's earlier works. Hell, most of the cutaways in this (the shots of beautiful scenery and animals killing each other) look suspiciously like they were shot by the Mondo giants, for they frequently don't match the footage of the main story, . The rather haunting score feels familiar, too. That story, such as it is, is told in flashback by virginal schoolgirl Catherine Miles (Elvire Audray), on trial for the murder of two people. Turns out her parents were killed by a ruthless tribe (she says) during a picnic boat trip down the Amazon. Rescued by the benevolent lead hunter of the tribe, which is the typically nonsensical mix of Spaniards and Asians that seems to crop up in all of these damned things, she gradually learns their ways, and watches their graphic rituals, and spends virtually the entire film topless, and falls in love with her new guardian, all the while nurturing her plan for revenge against him and his people. The revelation of the killers' identities would have been a surprise had they not diappeared from the narrative DURING the crucial murder sequence because the filmmakers couldn't figure out a smart way to temporarily divert the audience's attention away from them, so they just vanish until the end of the film. Dialogue in this is minimal, and comes largely from the courtroom framing sequence, while the presence of a Mondo-style narrator at the beginning and end of the film (where we're supposedly shown footage of the "actual" Catherine Miles in jail, is another nod to Prosperi's roots.
Finally, we have DIAMONDS OF KILIMANDJARO, another slog through the jungle from Jess Franco starring Katia Bienert (EUGENIE) as the white jungle goddess sought out by a crew of hunters and relatives working for her mother, Franco regular Lina Romay doesn't just PLAY a bloated bedridden mess in this, but was actually starting to LOOK like one in real life, and she was only 29! But even in her brief scenes, she fares better than Bienert, who looks positively STONED--or stupid--throughout, swinging topless from vines she barely has the strength to hold on to. One would never believe that this stick of wood had been "acting" for three or four years by the time this came out! Her enemy in this is topless Black Jungle Goddess Aline Mess, a feral stunner who has planted Katia's WHITE, SCOTTISH uncle (complete with tam o'shanter hat and bagpipe theme music) on the tribal throne as part of her cunning plan to take revenge on the evil white men who have threatened her people. Relatively bloodless, but generous in the boobies department, but since it's a mid-80's Franco, everything is shot so matter-of-factly, and without one hint of sensuality, that you just stop carring after the second pair are paraded across the screen.
Extras on these discs are the photo galleries (on all three discs), original trailers for each film, plus several others (again, all three discs) and interviews with Eurocine honcho Daniel Lasouer (on GOLDEN TEMPLE and DIAMONDS, each about 12 minutes), both of which prove to be more enlightening--and more interesting--than either of the films they accompany.

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Mommy II: Mommy's Day (1996) Review

Mommy II: Mommy's Day (1996)
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Aside from a ludicrous scene early on depicting a lethal injection sentence being carried out in what looks like a nurse's office in a suburban elementary school (which, as we find out in the commentary track, was actually filmed in a church basement!), "Mommy 2" is an entertaining, clever thriller, and a good follow-up to "Mommy". I especially liked how writer/director Max Collins didn't give us more of the same. Whereas "Mommy" was more of a horror thriller about a deranged mother, "Mommy 2" is essentially a straight-up murder mystery, where Patty McCormack's "Mommy" character- supposedly rehabilitated through the wonders of modern chemistry- is just one of many suspects in a series of brutal killings. In addition to the well-told mystery story, the DVD emulates the first "Mommy" DVD and includes a load of extras, my favorite of which is a terrific commentary track featuring Mr. Collins and his actors and crew. And, hey-- when you're done with the "Mommy" films, be sure to check out Mr. Collins' latest DVD thriller, "Real Time: Siege at Lucas Street Market". Story and extras wise, it's a blast, maybe his best DVD yet.

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Homework (1982) Review

Homework (1982)
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The American teenage male...are they all preoccupied with copulation? The short answer is yes...I remember in my formative years it was all I could do to get through the day without thinking about all the females I wanted to bag, be they classmates, teachers, the lunch lady, the cheerleading squad, my friend's mother (every guy had a friend who had the `hot' mom), the girl at the arcade, etc. I would have forsaken much (including food, water, and even air) to quell the raging hormones that brewed within...Homework, produced and directed by James Beshears, his only film as his later career consists mainly of sound work on films, stars Joan Collins (Empire of the Ants) and Michael Morgan, who mainly appeared in bit parts on television throughout the 70's and early 80's on shows like Hawaii Five-O, Emergency!, and ChiPs, to name a few. Also appearing is Carrie Snodgress (The Attic), Wings Hauser (Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time), and actress turned director Betty Thomas (Hill Street Blues)...don't blink, or you'll miss her role as secretary to a rock star...nice cleavage Betty...
The film begins like your garden-variety teen sex romp, two high school guys smoking a J (that's slang for a doobie, in case you're wondering) in the locker room, sneaking peeks into the girl's locker room, but then sort of veers off into odd, yet interesting directions. We spend a bit of time with Tommy (Morgan), a good-looking, blonde haired high school kid with a serious problem...he's not getting any, especially since his girlfriend (whose mother is played by Collins) is so preoccupied with making the swim team she spends nearly every possible moment in the pool. But this doesn't seem to bother him as much as the perception that everyone else around him is, so much so it's causing his grades to slip, so he visits the school psychiatrist (Snodgrass) and she recommends he channel his energies expended on thinking about what he's not getting into a creative outlet, to which he decides to create a rock band, enlisting a few of his friends and acquaintances from school. From here we sort of wander between various characters, the friend lusting after the new French Teacher, the girl infatuated with the local, ultimately sleazy, rock star (played by Hauser), and so on...eventually Tommy does get the `education' he desires, and from the least likely place (at least to him, but not to us as the advertising for this film tended to focus mainly on the whole younger man/older woman theme, on that obviously involved Ms. Collins).
I was slightly surprised at how this film played out (I'd seen it many years past on cable, but only had vague recollections of it). It's promoted heavily on the physical relationship aspect between Tommy and Diana (his girlfriend's mother), but that is such a short scene near the end (both actors were obviously portrayed by body doubles once the nekkidness begins, as we see neither of the actors' faces during the brief tryst, and the body double for Ms. Collins has a much better body than she did pushing 50, and the body double for Tommy exhibited way to much chest hair). There was plenty of T (not a lot of A) throughout the film, none by Ms. Collins as she was past the point of showing off her body as much as she did in The Stud (1978), or the follow up The B*tch (1979). As the film highlighted on certain characters, we're presented with what's essentially the equivalent of a string of After School Specials (popular in the late 70's and early 80's) vignettes (VD, over protective parents, obsessive/compulsive behavior, trying to find ones' identity) tied together by some rather loose threads. Despite the juvenile aspects present throughout, the writing was somewhat intelligent and tended not to make the characters appear as stupid or hollow as expected from films within the genre, but rather provided a `humanizing', almost realistic quality much like that in a similar film released the same year, The Last American Virgin. The one aspect of this film that annoyed me was the flashbacks by Ms. Collins character, as she tries to recall how it was when she was her daughter's age. These were pretty clunky (especially the retro 50's rock music...couldn't they have popped for a few actual songs from the period?) and tended to disrupt the already choppy flow of the film. The biggest weakness of the film, in my opinion, lies within its' inability to sink its' teeth into any one area, rather glossing over a variety of different topics. If this were a straight up, erotic comedy (as it seems to have been promoted), I would certainly be a lot less critical, but the film tries to be more than that, combining a number of different elements, but rarely linking them together cohesively, or giving them the attention they deserve. Also, the meager payoff certainly wasn't worth the buildup that took place through much of the film, and probably caused many a viewer to feel a little shortchanged. Ultimately, the film isn't as bad as some would make it out to be, but then again it isn't all that great. If you're looking for something a bit juicier, I would recommend My Tutor (1983), Private Lessons (1981), or even Mischief (1985). If you're looking for something more substantial, check out The Last American Virgin (1982).
The widescreen print on this DVD looks decent, but does suffer from very minor signs of aging (the occasion vertical line, white speckling). The audio came across very well and understandable. Special features include an interview with the executive producer Max Rosenberg (he, along with Milton Subotsky, formed Amicus Productions in the early 60's, a chief rival to Hammer Films), along with a trailer for this film, and one each for May Morning (1970), and another for a film called Quackser Fortune Has a Cousin in the Bronx (1970), starring Gene Wilder.
Cookieman108


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Mom at Sixteen/Too Young to Be a Dad (2002) Review

Mom at Sixteen/Too Young to Be a Dad (2002)
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I recently saw this movie on Lifetime movie network. WOW! This is one of the best movies that have ever seen. This movie shows just what it would be like for a teen if they were to be a parent. I was really surprised about the outcome, and I would explain more, but then you would not have any reason to watch it. This movie showed how to be responsible for your actions, and that you need to think about what you are doing before you do it. If you have ever had this type of situation happen in the family, or are expierencing it right now, I would suggest that you watch this film.

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Planet of the Apes - The Evolution (1973) Review

Planet of the Apes - The Evolution (1973)
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This set is wonderful! All 5 films plus a bonus documentary hosted by the late great Roddy McDowall, Behind The Planet Of The Apes is a 126 minute making of which shows the origins and the ideas that lead to the filming of the saga which began in 1967, thru the rest of the films 'til 1973 as well as the two television series (live action and animated) and the rereleasing of the films and marketing. But you have to buy this set soon because after the first 100,000 are sold, the next sets will not, I repeat, will not include the Behind The Planet Of The Apes documentary, which, to me, is the best special feature you get with these movies. The lowdown on the films is this: Planet Of The Apes is a classic. Trust me, if you don't like this one you won't like the rest. The ending is historic. Beneath The Planet Of The Apes is a good second effort. I just wish Charlton Heston would've starred in the entire picture instead of the beginning and ending. (note: the trailer for this film is different from the one given on the VHS version (you can still see parts of that one on the documentary)). Escape From The Planet Of The Apes is a very original installment which takes place in the past circa 1973. This one is lighter and more fun up until the end. Conquest Of The Planet Of The Apes is the most underated of all the Apes films. This is the only ape film that recieved a PG rating for violence and deservedly so, but what makes this one unique is Roddy McDowell's understated performance as Ceaser, the ape who would lead his brothers and sisters to victory over the humans who have enslaved them. This is the darkest of the set and, to me, deserves better recognition. Battle For The Planet Of The Apes is a decent 5th installment. This film was made primarily for the kiddies, so, bearing that in mind you should know what to expect and even so, this film is still quite entertaining. None of these films were a boxoffice failure. They all made money. So go ape and grab this set, which includes the trailers for all 5 films, a photo gallery for the first 2 films and of course, the documentary, Behind The Planet Of The Apes. Don't dawdle, grab this set soon. You don't want to give up the documentary. It's a perfect companion to the rest of the films that gives you some great insight and will be highly collectable in the near future.

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Blaze (1989) Review

Blaze (1989)
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This movie stirred some controversy when it came out because it is based on the autobiography of Blaze Starr, and so as history it is somewhat unreliable. But the movie works very well on its own terms, and I believe is and was underappreciated. Among other things, it includes another fine performance by Paul Newman, which is worth the price of admission by itself. It is too bad that it is now out of print. Seen as a story told through Starr's eyes, the movie works very well. It is both poignant and funny, and tells this colorful episode of Louisiana history entertainingly (but it's not a documentary, so don't expect complete historical accuracy). Paul Newman gives a memorable performance as Goveror Earl Long, and Lolita Davidowich and the supporting cast are also great. The movie also has a superb soundtrack that includes Fats Domino, Hank Williams and Randy Newman.

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Item Name: Blaze; Studio:Walt Disney Video

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Trailer Park Boys - Big Plans Little Brains - 1st and 2nd Seasons Review

Trailer Park Boys - Big Plans Little Brains - 1st and 2nd Seasons
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I've never bothered to review anything here before but i just had to say how amazing i thought this show was. I was only introduced to it a couple of weeks ago (I'm from the UK, so you can imagine how much air time is given to little known Canadian sit-com's : None !).
This is truely up there with the best sitcoms i've ever seen, the script, direction and acting are all flawless from beginning to end, which led to me watching series one and two in a single sitting !
This show needs to be picked up in the US and UK as I can't imagine anyone not liking it.
In short - Buy this, Buy everything to do with Trailer Park Boys, tell your friends, move to canada, live in a car, eat pepperoni, F**k off !

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