Showing posts with label drive-in. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drive-in. Show all posts

Jungle Girls Pack (Golden Temple Amazons / Amazonia / Diamonds of Kilimandjaro) Review

Jungle Girls Pack (Golden Temple Amazons / Amazonia / Diamonds of Kilimandjaro)
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With Shriek Show, connoisoeurs of eurotrash know its best to wait, because quite frankly, few of the titles in their catalogue are worth the single-disc asking price! BUT, as with their Post Apocalyptic Action Triple Feature Pack, their Psycho Killers Triple Feature Pack, their Jungle Horror Triple Feature Pack, their Martial Arts Triple Feature Pack and their Evil Animals Triple Feature Pack, their Zombie Triple Feature Pack, their Wicked Women Triple Feature Pack, and their Demons Triple Feature Pack, this newest edition, the JUNGLE GIRLS TRIPLE FEATURE PACK provides a cheap fix for those who absolutely must see some of the worst euro-junk from the 80's. And at about $6 a disc, these pieces of crap are finally WORTH the money, though you'll pay far less in certain retail chain stores. I found it for $12.99, which further justified a peek.
Up first is GOLDEN TEMPLE AMAZONS, a deathly dull Jess Franco piece filled to the brim with topless women who remain topless throughout to distract you from the utter bankruptcy of ingenuity and awfulness of the story, about a young topless jungle girl, raised by a black tribe, who grows up to take revenge on the nearby tribe of topless evil amazons who killed her parents when she was young. Coming as is did at a time when Franco movies had long since stopped being even remotely interesting (and trust me, most of this man's work isn't even remotely interesting, save for perhaps WANDA THE WICKED WARDEN), the whole thing feels like one lazy grab for what few dollars remained in the exploitation market at the time before being dumped internationally on video under any number of the usual retitlings. In fact, much of the film was directed by a Eurocine journeyman and it was largely edited by company men as well. Eva Leon proves she's still got it, at least from the neck down, as the leader of the Golden Temple Amazons, her wardobe consisting of an eyepatch, a vest and a teensy tiny g-string as she whips her minions and our heroine with gusto. The golden temple "set," such as it is (and probably the centrepiece of most of the scenes actually shot by Franco), is really just a cave with foreground miniatures of "golden" pillars and friggin' BIRDCAGE bars feebly tyring to telegraph some kind of scale. Oh, screw it, let's move on to...
AMAZONIA: THE CATHERINE MILLS STORY (aka Schiave Bianche: Violenza in Amazzonia). Probably the best of the bad bunch in this set, if only for the participation of famed mondo pioneer Franco Prosperi (Mondo Cane, Uncle Tom's Cabin, Africa Addios) who seems to have had an influence on director Mario Garrizzo, who directs this largely in the pseudo-documentary style of Prosperi and Jacopetti's earlier works. Hell, most of the cutaways in this (the shots of beautiful scenery and animals killing each other) look suspiciously like they were shot by the Mondo giants, for they frequently don't match the footage of the main story, . The rather haunting score feels familiar, too. That story, such as it is, is told in flashback by virginal schoolgirl Catherine Miles (Elvire Audray), on trial for the murder of two people. Turns out her parents were killed by a ruthless tribe (she says) during a picnic boat trip down the Amazon. Rescued by the benevolent lead hunter of the tribe, which is the typically nonsensical mix of Spaniards and Asians that seems to crop up in all of these damned things, she gradually learns their ways, and watches their graphic rituals, and spends virtually the entire film topless, and falls in love with her new guardian, all the while nurturing her plan for revenge against him and his people. The revelation of the killers' identities would have been a surprise had they not diappeared from the narrative DURING the crucial murder sequence because the filmmakers couldn't figure out a smart way to temporarily divert the audience's attention away from them, so they just vanish until the end of the film. Dialogue in this is minimal, and comes largely from the courtroom framing sequence, while the presence of a Mondo-style narrator at the beginning and end of the film (where we're supposedly shown footage of the "actual" Catherine Miles in jail, is another nod to Prosperi's roots.
Finally, we have DIAMONDS OF KILIMANDJARO, another slog through the jungle from Jess Franco starring Katia Bienert (EUGENIE) as the white jungle goddess sought out by a crew of hunters and relatives working for her mother, Franco regular Lina Romay doesn't just PLAY a bloated bedridden mess in this, but was actually starting to LOOK like one in real life, and she was only 29! But even in her brief scenes, she fares better than Bienert, who looks positively STONED--or stupid--throughout, swinging topless from vines she barely has the strength to hold on to. One would never believe that this stick of wood had been "acting" for three or four years by the time this came out! Her enemy in this is topless Black Jungle Goddess Aline Mess, a feral stunner who has planted Katia's WHITE, SCOTTISH uncle (complete with tam o'shanter hat and bagpipe theme music) on the tribal throne as part of her cunning plan to take revenge on the evil white men who have threatened her people. Relatively bloodless, but generous in the boobies department, but since it's a mid-80's Franco, everything is shot so matter-of-factly, and without one hint of sensuality, that you just stop carring after the second pair are paraded across the screen.
Extras on these discs are the photo galleries (on all three discs), original trailers for each film, plus several others (again, all three discs) and interviews with Eurocine honcho Daniel Lasouer (on GOLDEN TEMPLE and DIAMONDS, each about 12 minutes), both of which prove to be more enlightening--and more interesting--than either of the films they accompany.

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Drive-In Cult Classics, Vol. 3 (2010) Review

Drive-In Cult Classics, Vol. 3 (2010)
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VAN NUYS BLVD.
The best of this bunch, especially if you've ever actually been to Van Nuys, and the theme song is hilarious. It's mostly just a loose collection of scenes, very few of which have anything to do with cruising or Van Nuys Boulevard. It's really more of a California fantasy lifestyle teen flick than anything else, loosely based on car culture, sex in vans, the beach, etc. Director's commentary is only occasionally interesting but at least there is one. Some lame-brain comedic scenarios, a lot of toplessness, and one scene that would be right at home in American Pie. But in spite of product claims to the contrary, Bobby does not 'get involved with topless dancers and bikers'. There is dancing, there is toplessness, there are bikers of a sort, but that's not the same thing.
THE POM POM GIRLS
A fun dumb high school flick that isn't really about the Pom Pom Girls. It's mainly about rebellious football dudes (who are remarkably non-jock types) playing outrageous pranks on each other and their rival high school. Loose, freewheeling, unencumbered by plot, but enjoyable.
THE BABYSITTER
The only black-and-white movie in this bunch and a pretty solid b-movie that balances the legitimate acting of George E. Carey against the guilty pleasures of gratuitous sex, bikers, lesbians, psychedelic bands, etc. But who wrote the synopsis on the DVD package? Were they high, or did they write it two weeks after seeing it and confuse the details? Candy does not "take a job working for the powerful district attorney" - she has an affair with a prosecutor who works for the DA. Candy also does not "step in and blackmail the D.A." - she tries to stop a biker chick from blackmailing George, the prosecutor. Get your story straight, man!
BLOOD MANIA
Another fine example of exaggerated titling and bunko synopsis writing. There are 2 murders but it's hardly blood mania. Craig, a doctor who used to perform abortions, is being blackmailed for 50 grand by a hilariously miscast 'heavy'. One of Craig's patients is a wealthy old benefactor, the daughter of whom is a crazy art chick who is in love with Craig. She decides to kill the old man to get the inheritance money to solve Craig's blackmail problem, but it doesn't work. This has a Movie of the Week feel, for the most part. But again, the synopsis on the DVD package is way off - it is not about "a scorned daughter [who] murders her abortionist/physician father to get his inheritance and help out her junkie boyfriend."
WEEKEND WITH THE BABYSITTER
Written and produced by the star, George E. Carey, who also wrote, produced, and starred in The Babysitter. Almost the same film, just updated a bit and in color this time, with a subplot about a heroin addict wife getting caught up in a botched drug deal on a boat. There's a disconcerting combination of faux hippy culture, shamelessly age-inappropriate sex, and moments of unabashed sincerity. A strange mishmash of The Trip (lite), Hawaii Five-O and Lolita. And another cul-de-sac sudden ending.
MALIBU BEACH
Very light fare, typical beach movie.
PINK ANGELS
The first time I tried, I could not finish this movie. The setup of six gay bikers riding down the West coast to a drag cotillion in L.A. was fine, but the seemingly improvised dialogue and sketch comedy scenes of clashes with straight society felt like it wasn't paying off really - neither funny nor particularly captivating. I just watched it a second time, to the end, and although it is somewhat trying at times, the shocker of an ending recontextualizes the ambling, slight scenes that lead up to it and add an unexpected layer of poignancy.
In typical early 70s fashion, the Angels shock and run afoul of the law, roadside diner employees, clothing store clerks, a straight motorcycle gang, and so on, interspersed with plenty of road footage and initially inexplicable cuts to a general in a remote office. It's essentially a typical loose counterculture road movie with a gay twist. As genres go, it's probably one-of-a-kind, and as gay cinema, it's probably also historically significant. I just thought it fell short of the mark in terms of comedy, characters, and what I generally am looking for in "drive-in cult classic"-type films: either so bad it's good, or surprisingly good for how bad I expected it to be.SINGLE ROOM FURNISHED
Painfully horrible. Within 15 minutes you're in a digression within a digression and have the sinking feeling you stumbled into a black box theater where a scene study class is taking place. A blue collar couple is on a fake firescape talking about their not-actually poignant lives. The guy can't for the life of him fake a New York accent and can't stop moving his head with every word he speaks. Gave up after 30 minutes. Two nights later I picked up where I left off. That scene thankfully ended and another couple was introduced. They were no more watchable than the first, so I gave up again.

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