Showing posts with label ninja. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ninja. Show all posts

Lady Ninja Review

Lady Ninja
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I'd like to start by saying that Lady Ninja, also known as Kunoichi, was a decent film for it's genre.
This film is actually based on a series of Ninja stories from Japan and is way down on the list in the order. However it is it's own film and can be viewed as an individual story. The story centers around 7 Kunoichi (female ninja in Japanese) who under the supervision of Jyubei Yagyuu (a samurai)try to get revenge for their slain buddist nun sisters. The nuns are ruthlessly killed by a Japanese Lord who enjoys the company of women a little too much. In fact he has a habbit of kiddnapping brides on their wedding nights and keeping them for his own little private harem.
Throughout the film the 7 ninja battle against the Lords Henchmen. Some of whom have magical capabilities. (such as pulling eyes out which become one eyed assasins and another who can poison you by touching you) The Kunoichi also have some tricks up their sleves which the girls learn to unlock during the film. There are several confrontations throughout the film where the ninjas kill the henchmen one by one. Also, some of the girls don't make it to the end. I won't say anymore, so as not to spoil it for you.
The lead ninja is played by Yuko Moriyama. She is the one who really shines in this film with her strong screen presence and solid performace. The film does offer some B movie special effects which come across well in the film, and a cartoonish ammount of gore. I will point out however, that this is in NO way a child's film. The situations and violence would not be appropriate for kids. Also, a couple of the ninja women use strange attacks (one with her breasts and another with her hind end) The action is fast and uses a lot of wire work. Not many grounded swordplay or martial arts sequences though. The film has a very fantstical aire about it, more like Jet Li's Legend of the Swordsmen or Swordsmen II.
The release company on this film is Tokyo Shock, and they offer both the original Japanese language track, and an English dubbed track. (which is pretty much garbage) Tokyo Shock has a ways to go in their dubbing department. Other features include some interviews with cast and crew in Japanese (subtitled in English) and the film trailer.
This film may not be in everyone's taste, so if you're a Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon fan, this may be a littel over the top for you. However, it does have some nice cinematography, some nice surprises in the special effects department, and lots of cute ninja girls running around so it got a 3 in my book.
This is definately a rent it before you buy it film. I did buy it before renting, and plan to watch it occasionally, but it's not going to be frequently played in my DVD player. It's not that kind of film.

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In feudal japan the evil lord akinari katou ruled aizu prefecture. He had private troops known as the 7 spears who were trained assassins. When the 7 spears killed the hori clan 7 daughters were left in edo. They swore revenge using the power of kunoichi inside each one of them.Studio: Media Blasters Inc.Release Date: 04/29/2003Starring: Yuko MoriyamaRun time: 105 minutes

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Lady Ninja Kasumi, Vol. 1 (2005) Review

Lady Ninja Kasumi, Vol. 1 (2005)
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Take a look at the box cover. That is pretty much all you really need to know about "Lady Ninja Kasumi" ("Sanada Kunoichi Ninpo-den: Kasumi") and whether or not it is the kind of thing you are interested in. It is exactly what you are expecting, a B-movie Pink Film with a lady ninja-theme. The company that puts out this series is called Junk Films, and they have produced such other classics as "Death Penalty Female Prisoner Saori". And there you have it.
Oh, there is a story. Poor Kasumi and her little brother are orphaned, but taken in by a local warlord. Kasumi joins the kunoichi, the lady ninjas, in order to work and protect her little bother. There are some spies and intrigues, and some entirely unspectacular fight scenes. The costumes are nice, but the whole thing has a feel of being shot on digital video, and you know that this is not a high-budget production. The film is based on an erotic manga series, but I have never read that so don't know how well it holds up. Director Hiroyuki Kawasaki normally makes anime flicks like "Mouse" and "Sakura Wars", so this may have been his first time with live actors.
But if you are getting this, you are really getting it for the lovely Yonmi, not for the story. She looks great in her ninja costumes, and is appropriately bouncy for the genre. Being a Pink Film, the nudity is strictly T&A the three sex scenes are of the softcore variety. Not anywhere near a great film, but then you weren't expecting that. For what it is, it does a good job. The girls are pretty, the plot is decent, and there are far worse entries in the genre.

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Twin Blades of the Ninja Review

Twin Blades of the Ninja
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First of all, if your looking for an action packed, martial arts movie...well, you are not going to find it in this movie. This movie is very erotic with lots of nudity. THis is the kind of movie that you dont need to take it seriously. So, if your looking for cute, hot, sexy japanese girl then this movie is for you. I gave it four stars for sexiness and cuteness of the two female ninjas in this movie. Buy this movie now. I highly recommend this. also buy Naked Sword (Ninjaken). I want to see more movies like this from switchblade pictures.

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Naruto the Movie 3: Guardians of the Crescent Moon Kingdom (2008) Review

Naruto the Movie 3: Guardians of the Crescent Moon Kingdom (2008)
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Its a great family movie, that is one thing that I love about the Naruto movies and the series is that it is filled with life lessons that really prioritizes and sets what truly matters in perspective.
This movie features some of my favorite characters from the series, it is funny (of course anything with Naruto and Rock Lee is) and has a lot of action. With out getting into the plot too much or ruining all the good parts for you, its a typical Naruto movie where the squad is sent to escort/protect someone, what is suppose to be a clean cut mission turns into a lot more. The squad is forced to use their wits, team work, and abilities to carry out their mission.


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A 2-Disc Set Loaded with Special Features!Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi team up with Rock Lee to protect Prince Michiru and his son Hikaru on their return home to the Crescent Moon Kingdom. Easy enough, until the royal family becomes a royal pain! Prince Michiru can't help indulging his son, even buying him a circus along the way! Naruto has a tough time putting up with both the spoiled Hikaru and a saber-toothed tiger, but the real adventure begins when they reach the Land of the Moon and find themselves facing a villainous uprising. Does Naruto have what it takes to save an entire kingdom?Special Features Include: The Story of Naruto: Growing Up a Ninja Teamwork: The Art of Group Recording Shooting for the Moon: A Conversation with the Naruto Movie 3 Producers Original Japanese Movie Trailers Naruto the Movie 3 Trivia

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Bitch Slap (Unrated Edition) (2009) Review

Bitch Slap (Unrated Edition) (2009)
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Oh yes, "Bitch Slap" is everything you think it is. Girls. Guns. Catfights. Explosions. Lesbian romances. A story of bad guys, booty, alliances, betrayals, and secrets. It's being billed as, "a post-modern, thinking man's throwback to the B movie/exploitation films of the 1950s - 70s," but the truth is it gives us little to think about, and I'm hard pressed to say that it reexamines modern assumptions of culture, identity, and language. It does, however, open with a Joseph Conrad quote: "The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness." We see the word "men" and automatically think it's a blatant anti-male message. But by the end of the film, it's made abundantly clear that women are just capable of being wicked. Equality through evil. Funny.
This movie is irredeemably enjoyable, preposterous in both its story and its characters yet magnetic as a satire disguised as a schlocky male fantasy. It tells the story of three bad girls, all smoking hot, who find themselves in a plot to extort diamonds and weapons from an underworld kingpin, whose identity is a secret. The redhead is Hel, presumably short for Helen (Erin Cummings); she seems to be the leader of the group, tough but levelheaded, able to see the big picture and plan accordingly. The blonde is Camero (America Olivo), an oversexed hothead who's on medication. She's one of those people that hates everyone and is mad about everything, and has the dialogue to prove it. The brunette is a stripper named Trixie (Julia Voth), always upset, always overwhelmed, always wanting to play by the rules.
Every opportunity is taken to flaunt their feminine assets, and boy, do they have them - a basic shot is a slow-motion close-up of heaving breasts and deep cleavage, although some time is set aside for bare legs. There's never a moment when they aren't wearing high heels or don't have makeup painted on their faces. And then there are times when they pause to do a little manual labor, such as digging in the middle of the desert. My, but it's burning hot, and ... is that a bucket of water sitting there? Maybe they should splash each other playfully in order to stay cool. Things will heat back up later on, when Trixie and Hel discover that their feelings for one another are deeper than they first imagined. That's about when the situation goes completely out of control. Loyalties change. Identities are revealed. People get shot. Things blow up. And did I mention the catfights?
Intertwined with this is a ridiculous but somehow appropriate subplot about a notorious criminal known only as Pinky, never dealt with directly and never seen but fabled to be the most dangerous criminal mastermind who ever lived. When Trixie innocently brings up the subject, Hel and Camero speak in the same tones as someone telling a ghost story around a campfire. "Many believe Pinky's a phantom," says Camero. "Others think he sold his soul to the devil. I think he IS the devil." Maybe so; a flashback sequence shows a silhouetted figure going nuts with what appear to be samurai swords, used to decapitate people left and right. Do we ever discover what Pinky looks like? With such gorgeous women displayed on the big screen, can you honestly say that you care?
When this movie is not going out of its way to be sexy, then it's being incredibly goofy. Take Olivo, for example; the angrier she gets, the funnier she becomes, not only because she spews unbelievably inane profanity, but also because her character is the most aggressive. And just wait until you hear of her tryst with a sideshow contortionist. Let's also consider the director, Rick Jacobson; he's currently at work on the new "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" television series and has been involved with "She Spies," "Cleopatra 2525," "Batwatch," "La Femme Nikita," "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys," and "Xena: Warrior Princess." The last two are noteworthy because Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, and Renée O'Connor all have cameos in "Bitch Slap." Or maybe they aren't noteworthy at all. Whatever.
This movie is, essentially, a cross between an erotic photo shoot and a silly crime caper, one that has been fed into a low-tech special effects mill. And I suppose that's why I had fun watching it. While I ultimately have no good reason for recommending it, you have to admit, there is something infectious about a movie that actively tries to be bad. I'm reminded of an often repeated Pauline Kael quote: "Movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash, we have very little reason to be interested in them." "Bitch Slap" is, indeed, great trash, projected up on the screen in all its violent, foulmouthed, double-D glory. Fellas, this is your lucky day.

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