Average Reviews:
(More customer reviews)If you have seen any of J. R. Bookwalter's early "Ohio" films (e.g. "Chickboxer,") you know about low-budget filmmaking. The Bookwalter films are not very good even by his own standards, but stand the test of time as amusing cheese. Bookwalter has nothing on Jonathan Mumm, creator of "Bloodthirst" for Z-grade filmmaking on a miniscule budget. The big difference is that Bookwalter's films are amusing as camp, where "Bloodthirst" is a patently trying experience. I have rated it two stars for two reasons: first, I like to encourage independent filmmakers; second, there are several wholly unintentional moments of hilarity to be found here.
The production, acting, sound, and image quality are incredibly amateurish, and it really is like watching a home video. The film revolves around the existence of a chupacabra in an old mine, and the subplots run all over the place, trampling the movie into submission: there's a murder (and vampiritic resurrection,) the lamest bar fight ever, the stupidest newspaper journalism subplot in recent memory, a vampire who looks like a fratboy on a bender, and even a crazy witch called "The Mago," who claims that the chupacabra is a hungry pet left on Earth by space aliens! Beyond that, I can't really tell you much about the plot as it makes next to no sense whatsoever. My favorite diversion in the drunkenly-reeling storyline was when a group of investigators (including two reporters) decide to go after the chupacabra, who by all accounts lives in a cave, which may or may not be a gold mine, too: I was a bit unclear on what parts of the story were legendary and which are not within the framework of the film. What better vehicle, then, to hunt for the goat sucker but in a World War Two DUKW amphibious vehicle? Yes, they went via a lake on the "Duck Tour" of the chupacabra's home turf, all of which is tenuously related to the mayor's reelection campaign. (Somehow.)
Another motif in the film is that of walking. Mumm shows us seemingly endless shots of people walking all over creation (mostly in the woods.) It may sound boring, but wait until you see it! Eventually there is a convergence of moronic subplots on a rocky outcropping. The Mago (Lenore Sebastian) reveals that she actually is the chupacabra, and a horrifying battle for survival (which includes the least credible hypnosis subplot I can recall) ensues.
This is a terrible movie in every way. If you want serious B-movie pain, this is for you. Thank goodness there's no "Bloodthirst 2." What's that you say? Oh that's right, there is. I watched them back to back in one night. The one takeaway is this: as bad as "Bloodthirst" is, "Bloodthirst 2" is even worse. Believe it or not.
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