Showing posts with label bad movie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad movie. Show all posts

Monster (2007) Review

Monster (2007)
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
I think Ed Wood spent more money on Plan 9 From Outer Space. Probably the most expensive part of this movie was the flight to Tokyo.
I absolutely hate the herky-jerky camera and I wasn't kidding about the title of this review as it really did give me a headache. After the first few minutes, I kept wondering when they'd go to a regular steady camera, but it never happened. The next thing I know, a half hour went by and by then I just didn't have the energy to get up and hit the eject button. It was like driving by a car wreck where you just can't stop looking. As I sat there, I kept hoping something would happen to redeem the awful acting and story movement, but it stayed consistently annoying to the end.
The icky bug is almost non-existent. You hear a little roar once in a while, and see the odd octopus arm flash in the background. The art on the DVD box is highly misleading as you NEVER see the monster in as much detail as in that painting.
I can't give it no stars because the rating system would not allow it. I would have given it one star for originality, but wait... Blair Witch???
Save your money and your time. Oh, and one other thing... if you liked this type of hand-held filming, you'll love Cloverfield. I'll pass.


Click Here to see more reviews about: Monster (2007)

MONSTER - DVD Movie

Buy NowGet 13% OFF

Click here for more information about Monster (2007)

Read More...

Tomb of the Werewolf Review

Tomb of the Werewolf
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
Over the past couple of years it seems the direct to video market has been inundated by a glut of small studio horror movies. Out of those, this is one of the gems.
A Count, maddened with grief and sadness over his dying, plague stricken bride strikes a deal with the devil that will save his one true love, but it costs him his soul, and turns him into a werewolf. Centuries later, his last descendant is told of a vast family fortune. Striking a bargain with a psychic and a film crew they all head to the castle, stumbling into centuries old intrigue and blood shed.
Yes, it's campy. Yes, it's filled with senseless sex scenes that border on soft core porn. But, yes, it's fast paced and a lot of fun.
When you're feeling like kicking back, watching a movie that will make you smile, and not make you think, this is a great choice.


Click Here to see more reviews about: Tomb of the Werewolf



Buy Now

Click here for more information about Tomb of the Werewolf

Read More...

Bloodthirst: Legend of the Chupacabras (2003) Review

Bloodthirst: Legend of the Chupacabras (2003)
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
If you have seen any of J. R. Bookwalter's early "Ohio" films (e.g. "Chickboxer,") you know about low-budget filmmaking. The Bookwalter films are not very good even by his own standards, but stand the test of time as amusing cheese. Bookwalter has nothing on Jonathan Mumm, creator of "Bloodthirst" for Z-grade filmmaking on a miniscule budget. The big difference is that Bookwalter's films are amusing as camp, where "Bloodthirst" is a patently trying experience. I have rated it two stars for two reasons: first, I like to encourage independent filmmakers; second, there are several wholly unintentional moments of hilarity to be found here.
The production, acting, sound, and image quality are incredibly amateurish, and it really is like watching a home video. The film revolves around the existence of a chupacabra in an old mine, and the subplots run all over the place, trampling the movie into submission: there's a murder (and vampiritic resurrection,) the lamest bar fight ever, the stupidest newspaper journalism subplot in recent memory, a vampire who looks like a fratboy on a bender, and even a crazy witch called "The Mago," who claims that the chupacabra is a hungry pet left on Earth by space aliens! Beyond that, I can't really tell you much about the plot as it makes next to no sense whatsoever. My favorite diversion in the drunkenly-reeling storyline was when a group of investigators (including two reporters) decide to go after the chupacabra, who by all accounts lives in a cave, which may or may not be a gold mine, too: I was a bit unclear on what parts of the story were legendary and which are not within the framework of the film. What better vehicle, then, to hunt for the goat sucker but in a World War Two DUKW amphibious vehicle? Yes, they went via a lake on the "Duck Tour" of the chupacabra's home turf, all of which is tenuously related to the mayor's reelection campaign. (Somehow.)
Another motif in the film is that of walking. Mumm shows us seemingly endless shots of people walking all over creation (mostly in the woods.) It may sound boring, but wait until you see it! Eventually there is a convergence of moronic subplots on a rocky outcropping. The Mago (Lenore Sebastian) reveals that she actually is the chupacabra, and a horrifying battle for survival (which includes the least credible hypnosis subplot I can recall) ensues.
This is a terrible movie in every way. If you want serious B-movie pain, this is for you. Thank goodness there's no "Bloodthirst 2." What's that you say? Oh that's right, there is. I watched them back to back in one night. The one takeaway is this: as bad as "Bloodthirst" is, "Bloodthirst 2" is even worse. Believe it or not.

Click Here to see more reviews about: Bloodthirst: Legend of the Chupacabras (2003)



Buy Now

Click here for more information about Bloodthirst: Legend of the Chupacabras (2003)

Read More...

Starquest: The Odyssey Review

Starquest: The Odyssey
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
MAVERICK ENTERTAINMENT has really improved their special effects of late. Unfortunately, the rest of the parts of their "films" continue to be worse than what you see high school students produce. In this "epic", a crew of 7 (the unshaven captain, his ex-wife the doctor, a Sulu wannabee, his wannabee girl friend, Wolfman Jack the Klingon, some armed Klingon psycho who keeps shooting up the ship, and some bald white guy who only shows up on the ship when the other 6 are busy elsewhere) pilot a thousand foot long space ship on a trip to contact the living oil well that controls all life. After they do this, they have a cliff-hanger ending. Just so the audience gets what's going on, STAR TREK lettering is used for all of the credits. Obvioudly the start of a franchise..

Click Here to see more reviews about: Starquest: The Odyssey



Buy NowGet 33% OFF

Click here for more information about Starquest: The Odyssey

Read More...

I Spit Chew On Your Grave (2009) Review

I Spit Chew On Your Grave (2009)
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
"I Spit Chew On Your Grave" is another intolerable "movie" from Director Chris "Terror At Blood Fart Lake" Seaver and Executive Producer Ron Bonk. It's obviously an exploitation flick, but before you rent or buy this 58-minute long short on depravity, know this: it contains really nothing but disgustingly rude dialogue. There is absolutely nothing to make the film visually interesting, despite the attempt to make it look like an older exploitation flick.
I have always firmly believed "The Underground Comedy Movie" to be the worst movie ever made, but now I'm not so sure. "I Spit Chew On Your Grave" has a completely unsavory plot that I will entirely avoid discussing, the central theme of which is so un-funny that even this group of veterans of no-taste cinema didn't want their names on it. I will say that the story revolves around a disreputable warlock, Gareth, the "Mythical Prince From the Third Realm" (credited as both "Daz Maddison" and "Daz Madison") and his three vixens with names like Honey Lips ("Gwendalyn Booviay;" the film also ostensibly stars "Taco Stephens," "Mandy Bovine," and "Jock De Queaf" as himself.)
Those of you who have seen other films from the same troupe of regulars will recognize the star to be none other than mustachioed Josh Suire as Leo DeChamp (as Leo DeChamp, to add to the annoyance) once again spouting what passes for dialogue (enjoy the connections between Toblerone and Canada. Or don't. Your choice. I didn't.) As the non-plot progresses revel in the horrible spectacle of dancing, a painful standup comedy routine about dry cleaning, assault with a garden weasel, and the worst faux-Chinese accents since "The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman." Leo and Gareth (who has among other powers, and ability to use a split-screen effect and who controls a sock puppet chorus) battle for supremacy, though if you can understand what's supposed to be happening you know (or care) more than I do. Eventually Leo gets advice on revenge from a devilish Grizzelda ("Madam Croakus") in an attempt to parody vengeance flicks, and the film concludes with the worst battle for good versus evil (or something versus something else) in the history of cinematic choreography. (I know it's supposed to be a spoof, but it's just not funny. Or scary. Or exciting. Or interesting.)
This film combines an impossibly un-funny premise, awful dialogue, acting, and direction and blends them together into an absolutely dreadful viewing experience. The DVD also features an astonishingly juvenile and self-congratulatory commentary track if you can bear to sit through the film a second time. (I dare you.)
I would not recommend this movie to my worst enemy. It's dumb, rude, and offensive, and has nothing to show for it at the end of its tortuous 58-minute run.

Click Here to see more reviews about: I Spit Chew On Your Grave (2009)



Buy NowGet 10% OFF

Click here for more information about I Spit Chew On Your Grave (2009)

Read More...

Aliens Gone Wild Review

Aliens Gone Wild
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
"Aliens Gone Wild" is a piece of recorded entertainment that I can't in good conscience call a movie, as it's essentially a bunch of clips from bad Full Moon films cobbled together on one DVD with the most laughable editing in recent memory. It is probably the worst thing Charles Band, maker of over 200 (frequently awful) films, has ever been associated with, and is that rare production where the independently bad components are spliced together into a finished product that is substantially worse than the individual parts. A collection of simple science fiction or horror trailers would have been much more entertaining (don't worry though, there are actual trailers in the extras, along with some other stuff of dubious entertainment value.)
The DVD is broken down into major categories like "Space Freaks," "Alien Classics," and "From Beyond." Each group has low points, but for me the worst was the almost unendurable music video sequence in a hospital early in the film. If you make it through that it gets easier from there, and even includes some footage of a young Demi Moore, who gets star billing along with other luminaries like Julie Newmar, James Black, and Roddy McDowell. Of course there really isn't any one person at the top of the bill as it's just a bunch of footage from other movies mashed together, but at least there are some people you have seen before.
This is one of the most difficult things to tolerate that I have ever watched, and I was sorely tempted on numerous occasions just to stop the DVD and run over it with a car. Now that I've actually seen the whole thing I realize that those instincts were valid.
"Aliens Gone Wild" is among the very worst of the worst.

Click Here to see more reviews about: Aliens Gone Wild



Buy NowGet 20% OFF

Click here for more information about Aliens Gone Wild

Read More...

Spike (2010) Review

Spike (2010)
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
What a waist of time and a really cool spike costume. Who is it that thinks this is a good movie ? The only way you could write up a good review for this junk is if you worked on the movie, other wise I just call B.S. on any review higher then 2 stars. This is one of those "Monster" movies that is better left in the shadows and not in the light as you can plainly see this lame actor is wearing a costume with no make up. Why would you use a bright light in every other scene to light up every flaw in the costume and not use a little make up to blend it all in ? It really is worth seeing just so you can point and mock at the sad final cut. If your are not into seeing poor film making, bad acting and shoddy story telling stay away from this mess.

Click Here to see more reviews about: Spike (2010)

After skidding off the road in the dead of night, four friends find themselves lost in the forest and tangled in a twisted love story. As they are each picked off one by one by a bizarre beast it becomes clear that none of them will make it out of this forest alive; unless the one the monster so desires is left behind. Will they stick together and find their way out of the grips of this love sick monster or will they turn on each other and perish in this dark fairytale?

Buy Now

Click here for more information about Spike (2010)

Read More...

Sasquatch (2003) Review

Sasquatch (2003)
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
This film is painfully bad. Some bad movies are so bad they're good. This one passes good and goes straight back to bad. But I did learn a few things about Sasquatch in watching this film.
I learned that Sasquatch not only starred in this film, but he edited it as well. Oh, the credits don't come out and SAY that the film was edited by Sasquatch. But from the best I can tell, Sasquatch edited the film, using a blunt instrument. Maybe a tree trunk or smooth rock.
I also learned that Sasquatch has X-ray vision and can dodge bullets. This leads me to believe that Sasquatch is the love child of Superman and Chewbacca. It's somthing I'd rather not think about, but the proof is right in the film.
All in all, this film should be avoided at all costs. There are much better Lance Henriksen B-movie vehicles you can rent/purchase instead.

Click Here to see more reviews about: Sasquatch (2003)



Buy NowGet 57% OFF

Click here for more information about Sasquatch (2003)

Read More...

Beowulf (1999) Review

Beowulf (1999)
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
If you are a rabid fan of ye olde epic Beowulf, and are dying to see it adapted to film, then this is probably not for you. I recommend The 13th Warrior instead. Actually, I recommend The 13th Warrior to any fan of medieval action or fantasy adventure. My endorsement of Beowulf doesn't go NEARLY as far, and yet somehow, in spite of its many glaring flaws, I find this "adaptation" quite entertaining.
This straight-to-video year 2000 take on the ancient tale stars Christopher Lambert as the superhuman hero Beowulf, except this isn't the Dark Ages. Instead, the events take place in a post-apocalyptic future of gears and steaming pipes (a setting that, I feel, was a mistake). It has Hrothgar the "Border Lord," Grendel, and Grendel's mother, but everything else from the poem is absent, and here the similarities begin to wane. As movies go, this is Fortress meets Mortal Kombat (both of which starred Lambert) meets Mad Max, and thrown somewhere in the middle of this techno-gothic realm is Beowulf. Beowulf himself has become a high-flying martial artist (thanks to Lambert's stand-in, naturally); Grendel's mother has become a sexy porn star succubus who seduces Hrothgar in his dreams; and Grendel is your typical B-movie creature with some purple haze surrounding him at all times to make the costume seem more imposing (and, point of fact, it does make the man in a monster suit beastie seem less like what it actually is).
Not unlike the old fantasy flick The Sword and the Sorcerer, Beowulf still manages to be fun in spite of its many failings and sometimes laughable production values (not to mention laughable acting). I still haven't managed to grasp how it can equal more than the sum of its parts, but if you don't expect a film version of the old epic and instead expect a second-rate Lambert action flick, you might have fun also. (stress on MIGHT - different strokes for different folks...)

Click Here to see more reviews about: Beowulf (1999)

Christopher Lambert (MORTAL KOMBAT, HIGHLANDER) stars in this futuristic update of the classic poem written in 900 AD and set in a world of supernatural evil and inexplicable danger! Torn from a legend whose roots are buried in the mists of time, Beowulf is half man -- half god. Living in a techno-futile world of the future, a medieval land where technology's secrets are locked away in a mute past, Beowulf fights his way through a besieging army and into a mysterious, ominous castle on the edge of nowhere to face an evil within ... a beastly spawn of man and demon named Grendel. Now he must fight to the death in order to quell the raging violence hidden deep in his own bedeviled soul!

Buy Now

Click here for more information about Beowulf (1999)

Read More...

Category 7: The End of the World (2010) Review

Category 7: The End of the World  (2010)
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
I've always been open to watching these disaster movies. Volcano, Twister, Day of Tomorrow ... all good films in their own right, despite what the movie critics say about them.
Category 7: End of the World was a very entertaining movie. I think too many entertainment fans spend too much time over-analyzing movies that are made by the entertainment industry instead of enjoying it for what it is, quality entertainment. While I haven't seen the previous film, Category 6, I plan on purchasing the movie to see how this series started.
While it's not too impossible to believe, such events as what is seen in this film could very well become true. With the rising cost of oil and the fact that the greenhouse effect and global warming are impacting our enviropnment, this movie does have a very moral lesson to show anyone who watches this movie. We must protect our environment before it starts to react to our presence on this world.
It was refreshing to see Shannon Doherty and her authentic talent coming to the surface. She had been released from Beverly Hills 90210 and Charmed because of her attitude with producers and directors but it was refreshing to see her performing true to her nature and having a role that was written just for her. She is a wonderful actress and it's time more and more roles were written specifically for her. Randy Quaid is also the consummate actor who always seems to manage to steal every scene he's in.
But, I was disapponted that the US Government and the politicians that are portrayed in this movie seem content in facing the ultimate destruction of Mother Nature and protecting the interests of the large corporations, oil cartels and special interests instead of safeguarding the lives of the people. It shows a lack of original thinking on the part of the writers, who should have gone to a few more creative writing courses before sitting down to write this movie. In addition, I felt that this movie was a little longer than it should have been. Hopefully, there'll be a little more of a waiting period before we see Category 8, which will be coming our way faster than we can turn off the power.

Click Here to see more reviews about: Category 7: The End of the World (2010)

NEW ON BLU-RAYCATEGORY 7: THE END OF THE WORLDAs a deadly Category 6 storm descends upon the Earth, unleashing violent winds, hurricane force pressure, and devastating tornadoes, officials scramble to pinpoint the cause. Though global warming is suspect, beautiful but discredited scientist Faith Clavell (Shannen Doherty, Mallrats, TV's Charmed) realizes that something else is triggering the extreme weather. Teaming up with storm chaser Tommy Tornado (Emmy nominee Randy Quaid, Brokeback Mountain, Elvis) and Judith Carr (Gina Gershon, Sinatra, Face/Off), head of FEMA, Faith realizes they must enter the storm itself if they hope to stop it. While the country is at its most vulnerable, the government becomes aware that it is the target of a terrorist organization. Now, it's not only man against nature, but man against man as an intensified Category 7 approaches...

Buy NowGet 46% OFF

Click here for more information about Category 7: The End of the World (2010)

Read More...

Stone (2010) Review

Stone  (2010)
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
Robert DeNiro plays a parole officer about to retire and Edward Norton is cast as a convicted arsonist, trying to convince him that he should get an early release from prison in this gripping "noirish" thriller from director John Curran.
Rather than "convince," the wily Norton is, actually, trying to "manipulate" DeNiro into writing a favorable assessment. He even goes so far as having his beautiful, off-the-wall wife (Milla Jovovich) seduce the corrections official in order to accomplish that.
Though Angus McLachlan's screenplay sometimes tends to meander, it is populated with a quartet of fascinating multi-dimensional characters, none of which are particularly likable, yet all who are seeking some sort of spiritual enlightenment.
DeNiro, in a loveless marriage (to Frances Conroy), finds that his church going cannot help him avoid his darker impulses, while Norton, after he witnesses a fellow prisoner being murdered, claims to have had a religious epiphany. The operative word here is "claims," because we're never quite sure if he's telling the truth or if this apparent change is simply a ruse to get what he wants.
What makes STONE so compelling is its performances. DeNiro, in one of the most complex roles he has had in years, plays a man fighting the evil within him, while Norton utilizes his unique talent to bring to life a chameleon-like sociopath. Though she does not have a lot to do, Ms. Conroy is brilliant as the mostly silent, religious wife who has bargained away her life out of fear.
Certainly Ms. Jovovich, cast as the bold, sexy wife who will stop at nothing to get what she wants, delivers the most colorful and surprising performance. Part bimbo and part seductress, this is one of those women of film noir who would give Barbara Stanwyck's "Phyllis Dietrichson" (DOUBLE INDEMNITY) a run for her money. And, it is also prime evidence that Ms. Jovovich is capable of doing material much more interesting than the RESIDENT EVIL franchise.
The DVD from Anchor Bay Entertainment contains a "Making of" featurette.© Michael B. Druxman

Click Here to see more reviews about: Stone (2010)

Academy Award winner Robert De Niro and Oscar nominee Edward Norton deliver powerful performances as a seasoned corrections official and a scheming inmate whose lives become dangerously intertwined in this 'gritty and engrossing thriller" (Steve O'Brien, WCBS-FM).Jack Mabry (De Niro), a parole officer days away from retirement, is asked to review the case of Gerald 'Stone" Creeson (Norton), in prison for arson. Now eligible for early release, Stone needs to convince Jack he has reformed, but his attempts to influence the older man's decision with his wife Lucetta (Milla Jovovich) have profound and unexpected effects on them both.This tale of passion, betrayal and corruption skillfully weaves together the parallel journeys of two men grappling with dark impulses, as the line between lawman and lawbreaker becomes precariously thin.

Buy Now

Click here for more information about Stone (2010)

Read More...

Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (2010) Review

Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (2010)
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
So, there I was, searching the net for a new b ( or maybe z...) movie to give me entertainment for and hour and half. Then, by some stroke of luck, I found the sequel to last years unofficial movie of the year MEGA SHARK VS GIANT OCTOPUS. What better creaturer c to do battle with the mega shark next than a crocosaurus? And there we have it: MEGA SHARK VS CROCOSAURUS. I imediatly went onto amazon.com to pre-order my copy. And today was the day that it arrived!
As previously stated, our mega shark has apparently survived the fight with the giant octopus. We get a new team of people- including erkel- that plan on killing both the surviving mega shark and the new crocosaurus. Caos ensuses as each of there plans fails causing more and more destruction. So what's on the menu for our two creatures? Well, our mega shark still has a taste for battle ships and submarines, but not so much for planes or bridges anymore. Our crocosaurus on the other hand has a craving for African workers, killer whales, and variouse other morsels. So let's get the breakdown on msvc:
THE GOOD:
- one of my only problems with msvgo was the fact that we never got to see much of our mega shark and giant octopus. They also didn't look terribly realistic, but I didn't find that to be a problem. This time around, the effects are improved ( although still terrible, this adds to the entertainment!) and we get a lot more shots of our creatures and a lot more action.
- another improvement from msvgo is the actual fight scenes. We get two main fights between our Mega shark and our crocosaurus. They also don't consist of the same shot repeated over and over like msvgo!
- the production values also look pretty good for an asylum film, which are usually restricted to one interior of a ship being used for multiple ships and submarines. ( yes I'm looking at you msvgo!)
- the acting is pretty good for this type of movie, and so is the dialogue- lol moments with the dialogue are kept to a minimum. However that's both a good and a bad thing ( see the bad).
THE BAD:
- the main thing that kept MEGA SHARK VS CROCOSAURUS from getting a five like msvgo was the lack of fun. There was a sense of fun in msvgo that kept you entertained. You could tell the cast was having fun and not taking the movie seriously, were as the cast in this one have. It's just a bit serious sometimes, and you just want something really silly to break the seriousness.
-I missed the over-the-top dialogue from msvgo, this is what made it so hilarious! However, the dialogue in this one isntnso dramatic and over done ( which most people would consider good lol, but I found it to be a lot less funny to watch)
- also, there are some scenes in the movie were everyone was just talking, and nothing much was going on.
- the last thing I can remember that annoyed me was that it didn't try to top the plane-eating scene from msvgo! Compared to the destruction of the creatures in the first movies, these ones seem a bit people friendly. ( keep in mind that most of these complaints are miner and I dint mean to be nit- picking !)
Overall, if you enjoyed mega shark vs giant octopus then you will like this! It keeps you entertained most of the time, especially the last half an hour. Have fun viewing MEGA SHARK VS CROCOSAURUS, and I hope the asylum makes more mega- giant- saurus movies in the future!!!

Click Here to see more reviews about: Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (2010)



Buy NowGet 40% OFF

Click here for more information about Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (2010)

Read More...

Hot Tub Time Machine (Unrated) (2010) Review

Hot Tub Time Machine (Unrated)  (2010)
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
I really wanted to hate this movie. When my friend opted for this on "husband-has-the-kids-tonight" night, I mostly agreed just to use up a free ticket. Yes, it is crude, and it is lewd and it's totally socially unacceptable. Having said that, I laughed 'til my sides hurt. I've not laughed this hard since Blazing Saddles. It is that good. Don't take the kids, don't take the parents, don't take bosses or members of clergy - just go, laugh and feel free to revel in the silliness. A bit of warning - when they say 'Rated R' they're serious...strong language and sex.

Click Here to see more reviews about: Hot Tub Time Machine (Unrated) (2010)

Studio: Tcfhe/mgmRelease Date: 06/29/2010Run time: 100 minutes

Buy NowGet 53% OFF

Click here for more information about Hot Tub Time Machine (Unrated) (2010)

Read More...

We're Back A Dinosaur's Story (1993) Review

We're Back A Dinosaur's Story (1993)
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
Not unlike everything else produced under Steven Spielberg's Amblimation company, "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story" was a critic's punching bag and a rare find for anybody who didn't catch its original release, but even more so than An American Tail - Fievel Goes West or Balto, the story of four dinosaurs in New York seems forsaken by popular animation history, with seemingly more people not even having heard of it than otherwise. While the film does have its faults, this is still a lamentable fate for a feature that puts to shame a lot of what's on the market today and the DVD release of which was way overdue.
The story: four dinosaurs - Rex (John Goodman, Monsters, Inc.), Elsa (Felicity Kendall, Good Neighbors), Dweeb (Charles Fleischer, Who Framed Roger Rabbit), and Woog (Rene La Vant) - gain intelligence and are transported across time by the benevolent Captain Neweyes (Walter Cronkite) so they may fulfill the wishes of the children of the modern world. Dropped in New York City, they swiftly befriend Louie (Joey Shea) and Cecilia (Yeardley Smith, The Simpsons) - two young runaways from opposite sides of the tracks - and find themselves fleeing from panicked grown-ups as they search for the Museum of Natural History...only to find themselves the target of the spooky ringmaster Professor Screweyes (Kenneth Mars, Young Frankenstein), who harbors sinister plans for the dinosaurs.
"We're Back!" is a children's movie, first and foremost, and was most likely aimed at kids no older than nine or ten. In other words, while there is a decent amount of action, scary parts, and humor, it's all pretty inoffensive. Problems are solved by talking and understanding rather than fighting, and you don't have to be spoiled to know from the start that there's going to be a happy ending. This rather harmless approach carries over to the characters themselves: the dinosaurs are very cuddly, and generally everybody is proved to be very warm-hearted - almost too warm-hearted for me, and probably likewise so for anybody else who grew up watching animated films where peril was commonplace.
The performances and production, overall, tend to be pretty good. In addition to Goodman, Fleischer, Smith, Kendall, and Cronkite, the cast boasts Jay Leno, Martin Short (Treasure Planet), Julia Child, and Blaze Berdahl (Ghostwriter) in supporting roles, creating one of the most unique voice ensembles for any film, and they all tend to do good jobs with their roles. Though it retains the trademark big-budget style prevalent in "Fievel" and could still go toe-to-toe with the visuals of a Disney movie at the time, the animation has a flaw: the outlines of human characters' features occasionally stuttering in-between frames - making a nose or mouth look less defined from one second to the next, and on occasion simply disappearing. It's not a debilitating error, but is a bit disappointing to watch happen repeatedly.
What the film does hold in its favor, though, is its ability to inspire the inner child. I know it sounds corny, but consider: who hasn't dreamed of having a special friend that no one else had or seeing a real dinosaur in your own backyard, or having that dinosaur as a special friend? That wonderful ability to warm hearts that producer Steven Spielberg forsook when he began to tackle adult fare is well at work here, with New York City seeming as magical a place as any wonderland before it became associated with real-life disasters. The film pulls off the nostalgia factor incredibly, taking us back to a time before animation turned to 3D and we had Shrek shoved down our throats. I'm not sure how much this means to other people, but this aspect saved the movie for me.
In all, it's not difficult to see why "We're Back!" didn't do very well when it was first released, but why it remains so largely unremembered continues to perplex me. Disregard the technicalities of my three-star rating and know that the film's strengths outweigh its faults effectively, and that the movie is a secret opus for fans of classical animation. Don't deprive yourself - give it a look.

Click Here to see more reviews about: We're Back A Dinosaur's Story (1993)

For every kid who ever wanted to meet a real dinosaur, Steven Spielberg presents We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story - the animated tale of four prehistoric pals in the most awesome adventure since the dawn of time! Join Rex, Woog, Elsa and Dweeb as they time-travel to New York City to meet their biggest fans - modern-day kids - and make all of their wildest dreams come true. Featuring the voices of John Goodman, Jay Leno, Martin Short and Rhea Perlman, We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story is a magical film the whole family will enjoy.

Buy NowGet 40% OFF

Click here for more information about We're Back A Dinosaur's Story (1993)

Read More...