Whales of Atlantis: In Search Of Moby Dick Review

Whales of Atlantis: In Search Of Moby Dick
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I should have paid attention to the other reviews. This DVD is so poorly made as to be unbelievable. Christopher Lee was great as always. But there was almost nothing in the way of content to the video. The makers made big promises and delivered very little. I am just glad I bought the cheapest DVD available.

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The Art of Touch Volume 1 Review

The Art of Touch Volume 1
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I know calling this the worst video ever is a little harsh, but this dvd is almost unwatchable. I tried to watch this two diferent times, and ended up shutting it off both times after just a few minutes. I pressed on the third time to see if it got any better as it went on...it didn't. I was under the impression that this was an instructional type video, it isn't. The ENTIRE film is shot with the subjects on a rotating bed...and it spins the ENTIRE time. It looks like these guys are trying to give and get a (really lame) massage on a record player. No joke, they spin and spin and spin...now add to that the camera going around them in the opposite direction, add in some annoying computerized fire and flashing disco lights in the background and you get an idea of how unwatchable this really is. When I was actually able to tune out the siezure inducing background and focused on the "instructional" part of the film, it was just as disappointing. Their "massage" actually includes running your fingers all over your partners body like little spiders...they call it "raindrops". Looks more like a bad game of "Mom, he's touching me!" than a massage.
I doubt that I'll be able to give this DVD away.

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Hey...Stop Stabbing Me Review

Hey...Stop Stabbing Me
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This movie is hilarious, and wonderful. It has proven to me that the movie industry will be taken over by people from the midwest with a DV camera and lots of free time. You owe it to yourself to buy this movie so you can be the cool guy that introduced all your lame friends to a REAL independent movie.

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Dear Mr. Wonderful Review

Dear Mr. Wonderful
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after a few minutes there is no sound anymore from two speakers, just from the keft one.
after 30 minutes the sound and images are not aligned anymore and there is a difference of several seconds between the two. this is very disturbing and makes it difficult to enjoy the movie any further.
i have therefore returned the dvd to amazon and hope they will refund me the money.


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The Girl Next Door (1999) Review

The Girl Next Door (1999)
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This movie is predictable right from the start and really stupid in places. The plot is simple enough, middle aged man with pregnant wife becomes infatuated with neighbors' 18 year old daughter. The man has a very brief affair with the girl after which she turns up dead and the man is now a prime suspect. What is stupid about the whole mess is the fact that nobody seems to be suspicious of the girl's boyfriend, someone who had been stalking her before the affair, everyone is more suspicious about the girl's new mysterious lover. To make the entire mess even more unbelievable, the girl took a video of the single night of passion that she had with her neighbour and he now has to get his hands on it.
The movie is also listed as an "Erotic Thriller". Well, there is very little erotic about the movie at all, in fact there are only two semi-sexy scenes in the movie. The first features the girl taking a skinny dip in the pool and the second is the girl and man having sex for the first and only time. Both times the scene is shot in darkness and you cannot see anything worthwhile to suggest any real nudity or eroticism.
The DVD is also very bare bones. There is very little extra on it. My advice, avoid this movie at all cost and instead consider one (or all) of the Poison Ivy movies.

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H.I.M.: Born Again Romantic Review

H.I.M.: Born Again Romantic
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Although this DVD is very good, it is the exact same one as Poison Arrow, just a different cover and title. If you don't have either, then I would recommend this.

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Mayflower: The Pilgrims Adventure (1979) Review

Mayflower: The Pilgrims Adventure  (1979)
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This movie is excellent for those interested in the historical aspects of the pilgrims reason for leaving for the new world and what their life was like on a ship voyage in the 1600's. Richard Crenna does an excellent job at portraying Elder William Brewster who is considered by many historians to be the founder of the Pilgrim Church. Anthony Hopkins is very good in the role of the ship's captain and his acting skills enhance the film. I would recommend this movie highly.

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Stockholm Syndrome (2009) Review

Stockholm Syndrome (2009)
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This might ave been a good movie, had it had more money spent on it.
Unfortunately its shortcomings are all too obvious. The acting is beyond cretinous, the camerawork shoddy, and the picture grainy and wobbly.
Sound is also chronic in parts with voice sound volume decreasing abruptly when actors walk away from the boom mike.
Although the gore is plenteous and quite well delivered, it seemed that Mr Cavalline was just direcing a series of horrific scenes to shock.
There was no cohesion and it came across like he was trying just that bit too hard. There is not much (if any)storyline, so all in all not a success.
I'd recommend this film to horror boneheads who can understand gore when they see it, but would be confused by any semblance of plot or realistic acting. Strictly Amateur Hour i'm afraid.
PS Ignore Todd Proesl's review. Not only does he "act" in this film, he is the worst "actor" in the entire thing.

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Naked Avenger Review

Naked Avenger
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THIS DISC IS BOOTLEG THE MOVIE IS SHOT IN CAMCORDER. IS BORING TO THE XTREME. If you wanna see jill kely naked go buy a real porn. This is not even R rated in my book.

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Rugrats - Chuckie the Brave (1991) Review

Rugrats - Chuckie the Brave  (1991)
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This video is even better than The Rugrats Movie. Adventure, humor, and an invisible friend named Barney, this video has it all! Also shows a humorous approach to teaching your child about potty training. Definetely something you can approve of your child watching over and over again. It's just as amusing the first time as the fifteenth.

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Nature: Amazing Places: Hawaii Review

Nature: Amazing Places: Hawaii
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This was a really beautifully shot piece. The narration by F. Murray is pretty cool, and he doesn't dumb it down. You really learn a lot in addition to getting to take in the cool scenery. It looked ridiculously good-- almost photorealistic-- on my Blu-ray player and HD TV. I totes recommend 100%.

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Ecosystems on Big Island Face No Small ChallengePROGRAM ONE KILAUEA: MOUNTAIN OF FIREKilauea continually molds Hawaii s Big Island. Violent and beautiful, destructive and creative, Kilauea: Mountain of Fire explores the incredible power of the volcano and thechallenges of life in its shadow. Academy Award-winner F. Murray Abraham narrates. TV-GFrom Rivers of Lava Springs Bedrock of LifePROGRAM TWO VIOLENT HAWAIIImagine a lost work with lava flowing down mountainsides, violent storms, monster waves, rockslides and even heavy snows. This isn t science fiction. It s Hawaii where spectacularbeauty was forged by fire, and created by turbulent natural forces. Tony Award-winner James Naughton narrates this riveting HD visual journey.

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Brother's Keeper (2002) Review

Brother's Keeper (2002)
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Stunningly bad drama that I suggest you do not bother to waste your time with.
Lucinda Pond had overcome an abusive childhood with her single parent father. She became a successful Police officer, and used no small amount of her time protecting her baby brother Ellis from the repercussions of his petty crime, a habit developed from her taking care of him during their childhood.
Lucinda's world came apart when she led a "ruby-ridge" style raid that leads to the death of an innocent man rather than the serial killer she was trying to capture. She leaves the force, takes up drinking, and abandons her husband and child.
Almost four years later some one is copycatting those murders and Lucinda is brought back onto the force against her will to help track down the killer. In no time it all she figures out that it is her wayward Brother, Ellis. She also realizes that this is another of the many games and puzzles that the two siblings shared growing up. He leaves her clues and she is to use their common history to decipher them and hunt him down. Ellis's goal is to "free" her from having to protect him by killing so very many people that Lucinda will be forced to kill him. A plan she does not intend to follow through on.
As the bodies and the clues mount, Lucida is forced into a confrontation with Ellis and a choice that only she can make.
Now, I like movies about siblings who are forced into murderous situations with each other as much as the next person, BUT this movie was just a waste of time.
There was NO suspense. There was no emotional involvement with any of the characters and honestly you could pretty much see exactly where everything was heading from about 15 minutes into the movie.
My only regret is that I didn't have enough sense to turn the VCR off at that moment and just take the tape back. My advice to you is to not even bother to get the tape in the first place.

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Adam at 6 a.m. (1970) Review

Adam at 6 a.m.  (1970)
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Although I can answer the question of what movie they watched at the drive-in ("The Reivers"-1969), there is no obvious explanation for the "Adam at 6A.M" title. Adam (played by Michael Douglas) does not do anything special at 6AM- maybe the title just symbolizes his impulsiveness, since 6AM could be considered the waking hour of each new day. Anyway, Adam is a newly minted linguistics professor at a California college. He comes from a wealthy California family (his father is a relatively famous musician turned house builder) with roots in small-town western Missouri. Adam has just received his PhD and an appointment as an assistant professor. Summer break has begun and it gives him an opportunity at age 30 to stand back and take a look at where he is and where he is going. He doesn't particularly like what he sees and upon learning of a distant aunt's death in Missouri he impulsively drives there for her funeral, in his Porsche 911 (if it was a Porsche 6AM it would at least explain the title).
Given its 1970 release, this film unsuccessully attempted to cash in on the box-office success of The Graduate and Easy Rider. While there are related themes it is considerably less imaginative and much more conventional in tone and production technique.
As the vaguely disgusted Adam drives east into the unknown his energy level increases with his forward motion. The awkward and uncomfortable moments at the funeral and the reception are the most authentic scenes in the film. A highlight is a discussion of the movie "Blow-up" with a disgusted relative who went to the film thinking from its title that it was a war picture.
Adam is about to move on when he is introduced to Jerri Jo (Lee Purcell). They go to a drive-in movie (see The Reivers comment above) and soon fall in love. Unfortunately the Douglas/Purcell romantic scenes are weak and only the hormonal aspect of their relationship is believable. Douglas decides to spend the summer in Missouri and gets a job clearing brush for the local power company. The work crew certainly looks authentic; since they only have a couple lines of dialogue they may have actually been some local hicks.
He thrives in his new job and sincerely enjoys the change of pace and the lack of complications. He becomes friends with Joe Don Baker (apparently the only other professional actor on the crew) and sees how his marriage and kids keep him trapped in a going nowhere life. For some reason this depressing situation inspires him to propose to Jerri Jo, who has a very different idea of what their marriage will be like. There was a little foreshadowing about this back when Adam was explaining his academic specialty (semantics) to one of his relatives; he cited the communication problems that occur between two people when they have different meanings for the same word. Adam's idea of marriage is traveling around together having adventures. Jerri Jo's idea of marriage is setting up house in her hometown with her husband teaching semantics at the local college.
It slowly dawns on Adam that he and his prospective bride do not share the same vision of marriage. This is done through a wonderful semi-montage sequence of engagement party decorations, father-in-law dressed in an apron, hair curlers, laughing relative, domestic discussions with Jerri Jo's girlfriends, and the ice cream fetching errand. Adam leaves the party and drives to the A&P for ice cream. You suspect that he is going to bail out on the whole Missouri thing so having him actually buy the ice cream was a stroke of genius. He could have just left town immediately but this builds suspense, puts a more positive slant on his decision to leave (i.e. it is not just an impulsive irresponsible act-he gives it careful consideration), and it provides a prop for a great final image.
What Adam is saying is that he does not want to be like most people, he does not want to construct a small world for himself where he can keep everything orderly. He does not know exactly what he wants but he does know for certain that he does not want the average. Although this is a low budget production with some major flaws, it is a very solid effort. The theme is compelling, the score communicates as much as the dialogue, Douglas and Baker do a good job, and Purcell is very pretty.
Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child.

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Atmospheres: Earth Air & Water (2008) Review

Atmospheres: Earth Air and Water (2008)
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First off, I NEVER write reviews, but felt I needed to in this case. This blu-ray is so bad I literally took a look at the disc to make sure I wasn't sent the DVD version. The content I rate 3 stars given my family enjoyed it (including my 3 year old) but I have DVDs that look better upconverted than this film. When the best part of the HD experience is the dolby digital track (which is standard on DVDs) you know it's a stinker. The show looks so compressed and blurry its embarrassing to be considered hi-def. It wasn't even worth the $10 I paid for it during high definition week. Which I'm now officially convinced was 'clean out the garage and have a hi-def sale' week.
Since it looks like a dvd, and sounds like a DVD....I'm going to say you are getting a DVD in blu-ray packaging. If anyone is wondering, I have over 150 blu-rays, and I'm going to say this is the worst one I own.
The production value is horrible, at about the 30 minute mark, it pauses for about 3 seconds, I was thinking....is it over? Maybe it IS a dvd and I'm experiencing a layer change? It then goes into the next segment. It's all a little cheesy but relaxing. They could have done so much more with it though.
Bottom-line, save your money or buy the DVD version.

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Abraham (1994) Review

Abraham  (1994)
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As previously mentioned in reviews of other films of this genre, I teach ancient civilizations to middle schoolers. For this reason, I am always looking for good films of the Biblical era, and this is certainly one of the best!
Richard Harris portrays old Abraham as the fallible human being that he surely was. Barbara Hershey (Sarah) is equal to the challenge of becoming a woman who, even in her advanced years, maintains a beauty which can entice a Pharaoh of Egypt.
The research production crew of Abraham certainly did their homework. As an ancient Sumerian, Abraham was part of a thriving and wealthy culture, which invented everything from schools, to surgery, to a codified law system. They were even the formulators of astrology, which the film skillfully sites as Abraham draws the signs of the zodiac in the sand for Isaac to learn. Probably an offensive moment to Biblical purists, but nevertheless--realistic and accurate.
The Mesopotamian custom of producing a son through the wife's handmaid is handled with accuracy and tact. Relevant in light of today's Arab/Israeli conflict is the fact that this custom produced the Arab race extant today, while the children of Sarah's son Isaac became the Hebrews.
Another piece of excellent background the film delivers, is the covenant-making ceremony in the presence of the king's 'Divine Right' to rule. The scene in Haran is exceptionally well done--right down to the Sumerian's penchant for bargaining.
The animal sacrifice is handled with welcome reserve. So too, is the custom of midwifery, and how grief-stricken Sarah must've felt if she-childless, indeed did deliver so many children.
If there is any complaint with the film, one might be the portrayal of Isaac as a young teen when he was being prepared as a sacrifice by his father. Isaac was no doubt somewhat older than this according to Biblical chronology.
I shall long remember the reaction of my students to this impending sacrifice--especially from those who did not know how the story would end!
Another complaint might be the Pharaoh showing Sarah a pyramid, as if this was a new thing in Egypt. In reality, by Abraham's time, the main pyramids were several hundred years old.
In summary, this version of the Abraham is right up there with the best of the films in this genre (see my other reviews). I feel only the Joseph story is better.

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Item Name: Abraham (The Bible Collection); Studio:Turner Home Ent

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Crossroads - A Story of Forgiveness - Hallmark Review

Crossroads - A Story of Forgiveness - Hallmark
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I found this to be a very moving film that I think many people (especially teens) should see as it might just make them think twice about speeding and dangerous driving. Its also quite inspirational as what the main character (and real father) did seems impossible to most of us but he managed to do it. Makes you wonder about the silly grudges we all have. Also thought Dean Cain was brillliant. I'm a huge fan of his anyway but thought this was one of his best performances.

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The Consequences of Love ( Le Conseguenze dell'amore ) Review

The Consequences of Love ( Le Conseguenze dell'amore )
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Director Paolo Sorrentino has made the type of film we don't normally associate with Italy, a film where the characters are, for the most part, a study in icy cool and repressed emotions. This mood suits the sterile, upmarket, Swiss setting, where a middle-aged business man, depressed and uncommunicative to all around him, lives in an expensive hotel, in a boredom only relieved by his dispassionate studying of his fellow-guests and a certain very attractive young waitress at the hotel. I found the film mostly very intriguing. Toni Servillo plays the lead role brilliantly, the photography and direction are first-class and there is an astonishingly adroit use of music and sound-effects throughout the film. The thriller aspect to the story works well, although I think the director aims more for mood and revelations into human nature than a taut, suspenseful plot. In summary, the film's technical accomplishment compensates for any implausibilities in the plot and it is certainly a film worth seeing.

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